


It's Only Gay if it's on Earth

by Principal_Uncertainty



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Bisexual Male Character, First Kiss, Gay Male Character, M/M, Misunderstandings, One-Sided Attraction, Poor Acxa, Straight Female Character
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-08
Updated: 2018-10-08
Packaged: 2019-07-28 06:07:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 952
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16235735
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Principal_Uncertainty/pseuds/Principal_Uncertainty
Summary: In space gay still solely carries it's meaning defined by words such as merry, lighthearted, and exuberant. Meanwhile on earth humans (including half human Keiths) are largely unaware that gay ever meant anything other than homosexual. Keith, as he knows it, is gay. Unfortunately some less human female isn't getting the message.





	It's Only Gay if it's on Earth

Acxa was a great sparring partner. She was quick, agile, and surprisingly strong. She fought with the aggressive fervor of the Galra and though Keith had wanted to spar with Lance he didn't think the sharpshooter would have been able to put him in this situation.

She had him pinned to the floor straddling his waist and her gun right under his chin. What happened next was also something he would never expect to happen with Lance. Though to be fair he wasn't expecting it here either.

—And really, did her face have to be so close?

Keith tried for a friendly smile.

“Alright, you win.” he said.

“And what do I win?” She asked her face getting closer.

“Uh…”

She giggled her nose brushing his and Keith really began to feel uncomfortable

“You are so adorable” she said. “It is traditional in Galra culture to kiss on the third date.”

Wait what? This was training not a date. What were the first two dates? Keith's mind scrambled and he barely managed to avoid things getting wetter than he wanted by cranking his head to the side as she brought her mouth closer.

“I'm gay.” He gasped out.

She looked at him curiously for a moment cocking an eyebrow.

“I am too’” she said slowly. Her face then morphed into a sincere smile. “Being with you makes me gay.”

“What?”

Keith was confused. Nothing about this situation was making any sense.

“Y-y-you can't be gay.”

“And why not?” she asked sitting back. 

Keith used this opportunity to wriggle out from under her and scoot back, but Acxa reached out and grabbed his right hand and Keith had to struggle not to jerk it back. She lifted his hand toward toward her chest and clasped it in both hands.

“Keith,” she said softly, “I can assure you you make me very happy, and these past weeks as we have grown closer have been the gayest of my life”

“But I’m a man.” He insisted maximizing their distance as much as his captive arm would allow.

“Yes,” she frowned

“And your a woman.”

“Yes.”

“So…” Keith flailed his arms out, jerking his right from her grasp, gesticulating as if to indicate the obvious contradiction was hanging in the air between them.

He hated moments like this; These awkward social situations when he felt there was some stupid nuance flying right over his head. And this one, this one was definitely the worst. He was about to panic.

“I, uh, gotta, there's a, something came, important, meeting, bye.”

Keith scrambled to his feet and fled the room ignoring Acxa’s confused “Keith?”

He needed someone’s help. Where was Shiro? or Krolia? or Kolivan? No not Kolivan, and not Krolia either. He was a man; he wasn't going to run to his mother over girl troubles. Why the hell was he even having girl troubles? He was gay.

He speed walked through the Garrison corridors taking random corners hoping to lose the voice calling out to him to wait.

Lance stepped out of a side door and Keith nearly ran into him.

“Lance”

“Oh hey, Keith”

“Help me” Keith said grasping Lance's shoulders.

“Uh sure.” Lance replied looking slightly startled.

“Axca tried to kiss me, and I told her I was gay, but she doesn't seem to understand.” he rushed out.

“Wait what, you're gay?” Lance practically shouted

“That's what I tried to tell Axca—”

“Since when?”

“Just now.”

“You just turned gay?” Lance said looking dazed.

“No, I've always been gay, I just tried to tell Axca now, and she said she is too, but she thinks we are dating and that makes absolutely no sense”

“Keith” came Axca’s voice.

Keith shot a look over his shoulder panic rising seeing her round the corner and stride toward them before snapping his head back to Lance and giving him a shake.”

“Lance?” He pleaded in desperate whine.

Suddenly Lance's lips were on his and Keith mind went blank.

It was about five seconds before his mind caught up to what Lance was doing, and, oh, what he apparently was doing back, and another three before knees began to buckle. He gripped at Lance who stumbled into him both saved from a fall by Keith’s back bumping against the wall. The kiss was broken.Lance pulled back staring into Keith’s eyes with his own beautiful blues before they both turned to look at Axca.

She stood there ten feet away gaping like a purple space goldfish before doing a rigid about face and marching away.

“I think she got the message.” Lance said.

“What the hell was that?” Keith burst.

“That was a—”

And Lance just stopped.

Keith stared at him.

“Uh, Lan—”

“What was that?” Lance shrieked

“That's what I'm asking you.”

Lance gaped.

“That was a uh, uh… bro kiss.” 

“A bro kiss?”

“Yeah a uh, one hundred percent, uh, hetero bro kiss. You know like between bros—”

“Keith my man.” he added with a slow punch to Keith's shoulder.

“So, uh, see you later” he said with an abbreviated wave as he took three steps backwards then turned and fled.

Keith groaned and slid to the floor. Lance had kissed him; his supposedly straight crush had kissed him, and he had no idea what it meant.

 

\------

 

Shiro’s heretofore exceptionally ordinary day was interrupted by finding the pilot of the Black Lion, head of Voltron, and defender of the universe lying sprawled on the floor of a Garrison hallway starting at the ceiling.

“Keith, what are you doing?”

“Does Lance ever talk about me when I'm not in the room?”

“Yeah, constantly. Why?”

“I just had my first kiss.”

“Um yeah, I'm not following.”

Keith sighed.

**Author's Note:**

> I have lot's fic ideas and have been wanting to get something out for nearly a year now but writers block has me well and thoroughly vexed. I wrote this trying to get a breakthrough so It's just a silly crack fic to help prevent me from taking it too seriously. It's also very short.


End file.
